Confessions of a Scrooge In Recovery

This title might sound unconventional, but it is a sequel of sorts. 

You see, back in 2019 (god, that feels like aeons ago) I wrote about my conflicting feelings about Christmas. If you care to read the original, here it is. In summary, I was working a less-than-ideal job that was hellish around the festive season. It was a hectic place with some workplace drama thrown in for spice. That, coupled with deadlines, stress, and spiralling mental health, made Christmastime brutal until the day itself. I managed to get a job that suits me much better at the start of 2020. For the first couple of months, everything was great. But then Covid hit. The last two Christmas seasons have felt a bit off for obvious reasons.

This year, maybe it’s because I’m on the path of healing and learning how to live with my mental health struggles in a less destructive manner, but I have been feeling the festive vibes earlier than I have since I was young. Also, working in an environment that is much calmer and I get to enjoy the company of wonderful people has been doing wonders too. For the past six or so years, I didn’t feel festive until the night before, a week before a good year. It seems my Scrooge-like tendencies are starting to melt away like snow in the sun.

Alright, I still think that folk who listen to Christmas from November 1st are taking it too far. With that being said, I will admit I have been humming carols while walking in the cold crisp air to work with a gingerbread chai. I have been watching festive favourites with my family, enjoying seasonal flavours and all around feeling pretty good. The air feels magical for the first time in ages. 

This sounds cheesy, I am well aware, but I wanted to share this with you guys since it means a lot to me. I think this is a sign that I am getting better. I still have low days, but they aren’t as frequent. Maybe it will take a turn in January but for now, I’m trying to make the most out of the Yuletide. 

I hope you are too.