Self Isolation, Reading Slump and Winter Blues

I hope you have been taking every chance to enjoy some Yuletide cheer, such as going to markets or even simply watching cheesy Christmas films with friends. Because I haven’t. 

So I have good news and bad news. The good news, I tested negative for Covid. Bad news, due to the new restrictions thanks to the omicron variant that is spreading at a worrying speed, I still needed to self isolate because I live with two positive cases. Joy. 

I tried to make light of it at first, joking about catching up on reading, but it has been hard to read more than ten pages at a time. I want to read, but I can’t bring myself to do so. When I finally manage to pick up my book, I can barely focus. So, I switched the book in question to Spirits of the Season: Christmas Hauntings. A short story compilation, namely ghost stories set around Christmas. I try to read at least one of these short stories a day. It’s still a struggle to get sucked into a good book, but I am slowly but surely breaking out of this reading slump.

This isolation has messed with me a lot. I love my job, hanging out with friends and going for walks. However, until this coming Saturday, I can’t leave the house at all. The only time I have been able to get some fresh air was to take the bins out. My sister was due to come home tomorrow, but that has been delayed. I miss her so much, but as a high-risk person, we aren’t rolling the dice with her health. 

Provided all goes well, I should be able to get out this weekend. However, considering my dad’s state, I get the feeling the isolation will continue for a bit. I hope I can go in for my last shift this coming Monday as I miss my co-workers and still need to hand over my Secret Santa gifts. 

It’s been a while since the last time I was living like this. At least with the last couple of lockdowns, you can still go to the essential shops. It’s about a year since the last lockdown here in Scotland. I almost forgot how rotten it is, this has reignited my concerns about the possible lockdown on the horizon. Most folk suspect there will be another one at the start of the new year. It makes sense, but I hope it doesn’t come to pass.

The winter blues have arrived, and they have made no sign of leaving anytime soon. I’ve battled with them for years, but they seem to come swifter and stronger each year. It is hard to feel the Christmas spirit locked away in my room, not even able to be in the same room as my parents, for fear I will catch Covid off them. I can’t even pet or hug my cats, since they sleep on my parent’s bed with them every night. I haven’t felt this lonely since the first lockdown. It doesn’t help that my friends are too busy to play online with me. Despite all the holiday decorations, the world seems a lot greyer than usual to me.

I’m trying to look at the silver linings. Namely, because I can’t snack as much as I normally do, I have lost four pounds. I should probably keep that up when I can finally get out. But knowing me, I’ll fall back into old habits. I mean, the markets are selling crepes! How can I turn that down? 

I’m trying to plan out what I’m going to do when I can leave. Going to the markets, visiting pals and maybe treating myself to a new book. I managed to book a hairdressing appointment, so if all goes well I can have freshly dyed hair before Christmas Day.

I trust that you are, but please be extra careful this holiday season. You don’t want to be in my situation, or heaven forbid a worse one. 

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