I’m going to be honest with you, I have been pretty down this week.
Yesterday should have been MCM Scotland Comic Con. The only Comic Con I go to and have for the past six years including this one. Or rather would have been.
I don’t tend to go to other events, I prefer smaller gatherings with good friends instead but I make an exception for MCM.
Last year, in particular, was a blast. I went with a Kagakarui group and my Runa Yomozuki cosplay was the best one I have done so far. I rarely feel good about my appearance, but I felt adorable.
I got a lot of goodies, shared a lot of laughs and handed out a bunch of lollipops. I even got a few return gifts, my favourite was from a Jester cosplayer who gave me a flyer for The Traveller. It’s now up on my wall.
Even when we all arrived back at Shiloh’s utterly drained, the caffeine wearing off and lack of sleep on my part getting to us, I had a massive smile plastered on my face.
I swear one of the best feelings in the world is the post-con change. Ripping your itchy and hot wig off, changing into one of your new tees and spending a few hours afterwards just chatting and relaxing. It does the soul good.
MCM has always been a highlight of my year, so missing it this year is hitting me harder than I was expecting it to. I’m sure my wallet is thrilled about it, but man I have been feeling empty lately.
I have felt rather down the past week since this would normally be a fun time, even before the convention day. Going to Shiloh’s to do makeup tests, finishing the cosplay and all in all hyping ourselves for the special day.
Yet here we are.
We were able to visit friends at their homes for a bit in Scotland, but that has been restricted again so I can’t even visit her now. We play online and chat often, but it’s not the same.
This time of the year is normally exciting and joyous. A time to geek out with friends and make new ones. This year, in MCM’s absence I feel empty. Something I look forward to every year, just gone.
Funnily enough, I was getting better mentally beforehand. Since I started going back to work things started to look brighter, but this week the light dimmed. My normal distractions didn’t seem to help as much this week.
I try to remind myself that there will be one next year, or at least I hope so. However, that seems so far away. Everything does. It’s hard to look to the future when the present is in such a sate.
I know I have just spend a whole article ranting about it, but there is little point in raving about what we can’t control. At the end of the day, all we can do is our best and stay safe for ourselves and those around us. I know this, I just needed to get this off my chest.
I’m going to make more of an effort this coming week to get out of the house more, I think I need a change of scenery. I’m also going to try a little harder to look forward.
All I know is when MCM Scotland comes around next, whether it will be one or two years from now, I am going to savour every moment.