We have all been there. You need to finish a project of some description. Whether it is a session for D&D you need to set up, an article for your blog or the next chapter in your story.
You get everything prepped. A pot of hot coffee, cut out distractions and you dragged yourself out of bed early so you have the whole day to work on it. You are armed and ready to create your magnum opus.
You get comfy at your computer, load up the necessary files and …
Without warning, your brain shuts down.
Gods, it is the worst thing that every creator is cursed to suffer at one point or another. The loathed writer’s block.
Today, or rather the day I am writing this, is one of those days. I hate it more than I can put into words, many of which aren’t suitable for civilised company. Mosty animalistic cries to be honest.
I don’t know about you, but these tend to hit me so hard that I take days to recover. What follows the block is the dreadful doubt.
I doubt the few ideas that manage to push through the blockage. I overthink every element, scrutinising them from every viable angle. Then, of course, I let the numbers get to my head.
“Well, X post only got this many views, so Y idea will probably fair worse.” or “Who would be interested in reading about that? No one!” plays in my head on repeat.
I try to take reasonable actions to get back on track, like walking away for a bit or reaching out for help like I did this time (shout out to Lethargic Ramblings and LiteratureFuckBoi). However, if by the end of it I am still in the same place my borderline self-destructive tendencies kick in.
I will load up on caffeine and vow not to go to bed until I finally produce something semi-decent. Needless to say, I stay up until ungodly hours or stay up the whole night. I do this more often than I care to admit. I suspect this is why my sleep schedule is non-existent.
The worst part isn’t how frustrating it is, nor the doubt, although those don’t exactly help the situation. It’s the toll on my mental health.
While burning the midnight oil, dark thoughts start to worm their way in. I start to give in a bit. The voice of doubt grows louder the longer it takes to write.
It tells me I am pathetic. That if I struggle to come up with ideas or posting on time then I am simply not good enough. That I am not on the same level as other bloggers, despite being at it for almost five years now.
That, my friends, is the worst part of writer’s block. For me at least. I hate to say it, but there have been times when I considered simply giving up. Believing that voice that I am worthless at not only writing but as a person.
I don’t reach out for help as much as I should, for fear of being seen as a Negative Nacney in the community or a burden to friends. I know it is unhealthy but I keep pushing myself to extremes to try and keep this blog going.
Yes, I have considered taking a break but it feels like giving in so I can’t bring myself to do so.
I have received some grand advice about how to prevent and better coupe with writer’s blog which I am now putting into effect as of now. Hopefully, these will limit those terrible late-night writing sessions.