Phase in, Phase out

At the time of writing, Scotland is in Phase Two on easing lockdown restrictions. Halfway there.

I am starting to worry about how the lockdown might affect me when it finally ends. Again, I am one of the lucky ones so I can’t complain. Namely, my job is secure and I’m living with family.

However, I’m worried that my bad growing habit of going to bed around three in the morning and waking up at one in the afternoon (provided I even go to sleep in the first place) might have a knock-on effect on me. That and my energy and motivation are at an all-time low.

In my defence, summer is lethal to me. I struggle with sleep all year round but it’s at its worst in summer. So the heat is making an already rather stressful time worse.

My family jokes that I might be part Vampire as the sun sucks out any and all energy I have. Hence why I try to shield myself in the dark confines of my bedroom whenever possible during these months.

Since my last check-in, I have started to take my health more seriously and properly started my weight loss journey. I’ve lost several pounds and I’m trying to get into some healthy habits. Although the sleeping issue probably cancels all that effort out. Still, it’s something I suppose.

My sister has been a star supporting me with my diet and dragging me on long walks in our local graveyard and park. Too bad it’s hay fever time again, curse you pollen!

While I am getting healthier physically, my mental health is going south. I’m growing numb and each day drains me more. Being frank, I’m not sure how much of this I can take. I am trying to look forward, but it seems so far away.

I am struggling to do the simplest of actions. I keep skipping meals simply because I can’t be bothered to whip something up. Its a pain to do anything but stare at my PC screen or read.

Books have been my primary comfort. Losing myself in another world helps. I feel like I have achieved something when I finish one and picking a new one is one of the few excitements I still experience outside of weekly D&D.

I’m sorry for being so negative but I needed to get this out of my system. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I hope you are staying safe.


I used the GORILLA_ART Picrew to make the cute picture of myself in the header.

3 thoughts on “Phase in, Phase out

Add yours

  1. Sometimes when I’m feeling down I sit outside and watch people walk or drive by. I try to imagine what what they are thinking or where they’re going. It gets my mind going and puts me in a somewhat better mood. It’s not for everyone, and with your allergies it might be hard. I hope this helps and I hope you feel better!

    Liked by 1 person

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