Single And Not Ready To Mingle

Another Valentines Day I’m going to spend alone.

Well, not exactly. I’m working tomorrow, but you know what I mean.

Here’s the kicker, I don’t care. Not really. As I have said before I have never had a Valentine, so it’s not like this is a new experience. However, this year feels different because I have come to a realisation. Not “I’m a strong independent woman who don’t need no-one!” but at this point in my life, I’m simply not available.

3b9369593329f40d99c323a61335f9efI’m at a point in my life where I am trying to get into a new system and improve myself. I don’t have the time or energy it takes for dating or to look for a partner.

Frankly, I’m happy being alone. While in real life I come across as friendly, energetic and bubbly, I need time to myself to recharge. Somedays I simply don’t want to leave the house and hang out with friends, I want to curl up with a book and not talk to a single soul outside of my cats.

When I get home from work or a gathering the last thing I want is more social interaction. As soon as the door closes behind me, I tap out. I need my space to calm down and reflect on my day in my own time. I believe the term for folk like me is Outgoing introverts or Ambivert. Please correct me if I’m wrong.

I often joke about being forever alone, yet being serious for a moment, I am perfectly content on that coming true.

That’s not to say that if Miss Right comes along with a bunch of roses on a white horse I’m going to slam the door in her face. I think I will find someone someday, settle down and maybe have a family. All I know is that isn’t happening right now. I’ve stopped actively looking for potential partners.

Also, have you tried looking for other women on Tinder? Maybe it’s just my luck but most of the accounts I saw were straight couples looking for a someone to join in for a threesome. I gave up on that app years ago.

e9834a26a1fde30b17563b7d25d61ab0I don’t think it would be a good idea to try and date someone when I have a lot of issues at hand. I’m still dealing with mental health issues, self-esteem and minor health problems. I feel that it wouldn’t be right of me to get into a relationship with this much baggage for her to deal with. I need to lighten that load before then. Once I have gotten a better handle on myself, maybe I’ll put myself out there again.

Until then, I’m more than content alone.


3 thoughts on “Single And Not Ready To Mingle

Add yours

  1. I can understand your points in not seeking a relationship. But when you find Miss Right there will be no problem with letting you recharge after you come home. The fact that you have baggage will be no problem either. After all we all have baggage. Just what kind of baggage differs from person to person. Miss Right will help you with that while you do the same in return. But I think maybe a reason not to be in or seek a relationship is the energy and time it can take out of you.

    Relationships start off well. But a problem soon arises. That the two of you are strangers to each other. The other doesn’t know what the other person likes or dislikes, their quirks and who they are as a person. So a lot of your energy and time will be spent understanding the person while the other person is doing the same. In the meantime there will be some conflict and pain until that happens.

    Sometimes it works out and the people stay together. But more often than not it doesn’t work out. Part ways and you end up feeling that you have wasted a lot of time and energy for nothing. So you should be in a place mentally where you are willing to spend the time and energy getting to know the person, be willing to put up with the conflict that will arise and be prepared for the fact that it may not work out with the person.

    Until you feel that you have reached that point then it would be better not to look for a relationship with someone. Be content doing what is best for you at the moment. Also like you mentioned keep your eyes open for Miss Right. Often times the right person is not where we expect them to be when looking for them. I was quite surprised where my Miss Right showed up and what I was willing to do once I found them.

    Also Valentine’s Day is about love. For most people it is about being in a relaionship with someone and loving them. But it can also be about loving yourself. Doing what is right for you instead of trying to force yourself into something that you feel you are not ready to deal with. So instead of dreading Valentine’s Day because your single and not in a relationship think about the love you have for yourself and the people in your life. That is a love worth celebrating.

    Liked by 1 person

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