Another Valentines Day I’m going to spend alone.
Well, not exactly. I’m working tomorrow, but you know what I mean.
Here’s the kicker, I don’t care. Not really. As I have said before I have never had a Valentine, so it’s not like this is a new experience. However, this year feels different because I have come to a realisation. Not “I’m a strong independent woman who don’t need no-one!” but at this point in my life, I’m simply not available.
I’m at a point in my life where I am trying to get into a new system and improve myself. I don’t have the time or energy it takes for dating or to look for a partner.
Frankly, I’m happy being alone. While in real life I come across as friendly, energetic and bubbly, I need time to myself to recharge. Somedays I simply don’t want to leave the house and hang out with friends, I want to curl up with a book and not talk to a single soul outside of my cats.
When I get home from work or a gathering the last thing I want is more social interaction. As soon as the door closes behind me, I tap out. I need my space to calm down and reflect on my day in my own time. I believe the term for folk like me is Outgoing introverts or Ambivert. Please correct me if I’m wrong.
I often joke about being forever alone, yet being serious for a moment, I am perfectly content on that coming true.
That’s not to say that if Miss Right comes along with a bunch of roses on a white horse I’m going to slam the door in her face. I think I will find someone someday, settle down and maybe have a family. All I know is that isn’t happening right now. I’ve stopped actively looking for potential partners.
Also, have you tried looking for other women on Tinder? Maybe it’s just my luck but most of the accounts I saw were straight couples looking for a someone to join in for a threesome. I gave up on that app years ago.
I don’t think it would be a good idea to try and date someone when I have a lot of issues at hand. I’m still dealing with mental health issues, self-esteem and minor health problems. I feel that it wouldn’t be right of me to get into a relationship with this much baggage for her to deal with. I need to lighten that load before then. Once I have gotten a better handle on myself, maybe I’ll put myself out there again.
Until then, I’m more than content alone.