I have a bit of a confession. For the last two months, I have had really conflicting feelings about this blog. I say this rather frequently, but it is true, Nerd Rambles is my pride and joy. However, it’s getting to the point that I am struggling to make time to write content twice a week, even if I manage to do so I feel that the quality of my work is subpar.
College is exhausting and frankly, home life isn’t doing too well either. On top of that, I also have a part-time job. I am just so exhausted.
I’m starting to sleep in more and more, hitting the snooze on my alarm so much that when I finally do wake up I only have twenty minutes before I need to leave the house to get to college on time. Even then I feel so tired no matter what I do. No amount of caffine can wake me up.
My bad habits are getting worse and catching up to me. Most of the time I either feel stressed out and panicking or completely empty. I have some good days but they rare.
I hope I might feel better once I complete my Graded Until but even so, my future is so unclear. Will I be able to continue my studies? Can I even afford to continue? Will I ever get a job in the industry?
I don’t know, and what scares me the most is some days, I don’t care.
Some days, I just want to throw my hands up in the air and scream “screw it” until I lose my voice. Some days, I want to just to hide away from the world and everyone. Some days, I just want it to end.
Those are the worse days, and as my good days seem more like distant memories, they are becoming the norm for me.
Thank you for reading and sorry for the rather bleak post today, I promise the next post will be a normal one. I just needed to get that off my chest.