Time for another confession session.
I have been cosplaying for about two years now. While cosplay is a lot of fun, it’s not all flowing wigs and swishy capes.
I get pretty jealous when I see someone cosplay the same character as me, but way better. It makes me feel inferior by comparison. I don’t have enough money to buy quality cosplays, nor the skill to make my own to that level. I am alright at sewing, but that is it. What really pisses me off though, is my sister was given a sewing machine a few years ago but never uses it. I have asked to borrow it and even have offered to buy it off her. She always refuses.
I hate my own hair with a burning passion, so I wear a wig at every opportunity. Even if I’m just watching an anime at home, chances are I’m wearing a wig. I would wear them to college, but my mum doesn’t let me.
Despite all of the body positivity posts in cosplay groups, I am extremely self-conscious of my weight. There are so many characters I would love to cosplay, but I feel like I am way too fat to do it. I feel cute when I cosplay, until I see a photo of myself. Then I feel down about my appearance for the rest of the day. In fact, I only feel good about myself when I am in cosplay. I hate everything about my appearance so I am a lot more confident when I look nothing like myself.
I am unbelievably picky when it comes to making a cosplay. I compare thousands of almost identical wigs for the one that is just the right shade and length. When it comes to the clothes I’m even worse. To be fair, I do sort out my cosplays months in advance, but to do so I fret and freak out about something that won’t be used for another month at least.
I spend more time and money on picking out clothes for cosplay than I do for clothes I will wear on a daily basis.
I will admit, I like embarrassing my parents with cosplay. Extended family we haven’t seen for months are coming over? You bet I’ll be wearing a wig at the very least. I’m if feeling a bit more trollish, I might put on my full cosplay. Often I get forced to change and my mum is annoyed at me for the rest of the day or even a week. So worth it.
I once woke my little sister up at three in the morning to do my hair for a Hipster Belle cosplay. Yeah. If you know me in real life, you know I am terrible with hair. My sister on the other hand is great with fashion, make-up and hair styling. So I pretty much stormed into her room and demanded her to do my hair. She still brings it up when we fight a year afterwards.
At my first cosplay meet I let someone cut my wig. I have never regretted a cosplay decision so much. That wig is beyond saving. I didn’t have the heart to tell her, so I kept my mouth shut and said that I liked it. Cue the why the fuck you lying vine.