Confessions of a gamer

After writing confessions of a dub lover, I thought about making a new miniseries of confessionals. So here it is, confessions of a gamer. This one is going to be a wee bit different, as these are proper confessions. Don’t judge me, okay? Okay.

I easily spend more time gaming than anything else. I spend more time with my free company on FFXIV than I do with my family. Heck, I care more about levelling up than I do about my college course at times. By “at times” I mean around 85% or 90% of the time.

If you try to contact me while I’m gaming, unless it’s during a loading screen, I won’t respond. Not because I don’t care, but because but I am this close to solving this puzzle damn it! Don’t distract me! Also, if someone spoils a game twist or ending, I seriously have to hold myself back from attacking them. Even if it’s a mild spoiler, unless you asked if it was okay to tell me, I’m going to smack you.

giphy (1)If we are both playing the same game, and you say you are romancing the same character as me, I will get defensive because I CALLED DIBS ON PIPER! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE RULES OF DIBS?!?! When I started playing Mass Effect my friend told me not to romance Garrus as that was her man, I respected that and didn’t romance him. There are rules to fictional dating, people!

Speaking of relationships, I was dating someone for about a month or so, and Fallout 4 was going to be released soon. I honestly was going to warn her that I would spend more time playing Fallout 4 than seeing her. Turns out I never had to have that talk with her, because she dumped me via text the week before the game came out. Half of me was devastated, the other half was like “K, I don’t need you anyway. I have video games.” Which probably explains why I am single and have been for quite a while.

On the topic of Fallout 4, I got lucky as my classes were cancelled for the day after Fallout 4 came out. So what did I do? Picked up the game before class and bought a ton of food rations in preparation. My lecturer laughed when I told her what I did and said that she had never known anyone who prepared for a day off that thoroughly. I spent the whole day in my room playing the game – I even bought a PS4 just so I could play it.

Prepared as fuck


I even carefully pick snacks that are good to eat while gaming. For example, potato sticks. They are easy to pick up and, because of their shape, you don’t get the controller greasy. Also, mints or any kind of sweets you can suck on for a decent amount of time are a good pick.

Outside of Yahtzee Croshaw, I don’t read game reviews. I could explain why, but these guys sum it up well.

Before I buy any new game, I ask my friends whether or not I will like it. With the exception of a couple of games, I never pre-order. In fact, I often wait a few months after the game is released before I get it.


I have bought many games that I not only don’t finish, but sometimes never play. Why? I honestly don’t know. I’m not just talking about Steam games either, sometimes I browse around the preowned section and buy a game or two and never play them. Let me know if you have done that too; I can’t be the only one who does this.

I hate Mario games. I never liked them, they were really boring to me. Even now I don’t get the appeal of a game in which an Italian stereotype smashes his head on bricks, jumping on turtles and eats mushrooms. The only Mario games I like are the Mario Kart ones.

I used to love playing GTA at my cousin’s house, and I remember when I was really young I would go into the comedy club in GTA and the comedian would be talking about weed. I honestly thought they meant the plant, not the drug. It was when I was 13 that I learned what weed was and I freaked out at the memory during class.

Ah, childhood innocence

I have never played Half-life. Nor have I ever played Kingdom Hearts, or any Final Fantasy game outside of FFXIV.

You know the stereotype of women not being able to drive? While it is total bullshit, I will admit that I am a terrible driver in video games, even Mario Kart. I don’t mean I drive recklessly (which I do) but rather I keep banging into walls, struggle to make turns and if I have to drive carefully in a mission it will take me hours to complete that mission.

Prepared as fuck

I love quick time events, I’m pretty good at them. I often hear that other hate when quick time events pop up, but I always get this feeling of ‘my time has come!’.

So those are my confessions as a gamer. I can feel the judgement from here.

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